Monday, August 16, 2010

On love.

Here's two quotes.
"A man has both a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to use one at a time."
"It's the story of life.  Boy meets girl, boy gets stupid, boy and girl live stupidly ever after."

Now, I'm not fond of the first because it's cis-centric.  That is to say, not all men have a penis.  The second one is misogynistic in its implication that girl is already stupid.  So they aren't the greatest quotes in the world, but they point to something that I agree with.  Love/lust turns people into morons.  I read a few medical blogs, and the one thing they all have in common is at least one story about a guy who went into the ER with a story like "My girlfriend had never been with a guy who wasn't circumsized, and there was a steak knife..."  And now everyone cringes.  It also seems to lower inhibitions.  People in love do some seriously embarrassing stuff that they wouldn't dream of if they were in their right minds.  They permanently alter their body with tattoos with their partner's name.  And then they break up.  And now they can only ever date people with that name ever again.

I am an aromantic asexual.  I have never in my life felt erotic love (platonic, yes.  familial, yes.)  I go through life being astonished by the shockingly bad decisions people make while under the influence of that stupidest part of the brain.  But sometimes, I think it must be nice to be able to feel emotion so strong it shuts down everything else.  To trust another person so much that you'll allow yourself to be lured into extremely compromising positions that will then require the swift use of shitty excuses when you get caught by a parent coming home early or a child who couldn't sleep.  Then I realize that I don't even feel love, and it's still trying to con me into being a moron.  A powerful force indeed.

1 comment:

  1. It's pretty woo, but if I'm ever doing a tarot reading and the Death card comes up, I can usually interpret it to mean love. Death is an inexorable force, just like love is (though not so inexorable you can't control yourself if need be). But you're absolutely right it makes people do stupid things! They just happen to be the best-feeling stupidest things you'll ever do.

    That said, funny story: my then-boyfriend and I were not yet having sex, but were getting into the heavy petting and getting-naked range of making out. I was going to be a sophomore in college, so I was living for the summer at my parents' house, and he was over to celebrate my birthday with us. After dinner and cake, we went downstairs to watch a movie and, er, "watch a movie."

    Birthdays are kind of sacred in my family, so after we'd been making out for a while I told him "yeah, it's totally safe to take our clothes off, I'm almost certain they won't disturb us." What I had forgotten was that my sister was out of the country for the summer, and hadn't called to wish me happy birthday yet.

    You can guess how this ended... I was on his lap, and we were both half-naked, when my very, very Catholic mother walked in with a phone call for me. In addition, at the time I was still Catholic, so after he left I swore up and down to my very disapproving mother that no, I wouldn't be having sex with my apostate boyfriend!

    And then of course I did, about a month later. Because it was too goddamn good to not do it.