Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Well, I guess this is the beginning, isn't it?

Hi.  I suppose I ought to say hello to anyone reading this, so there you go.

I'm Adam.  I'm also Torvaun.  Adam's the name I was given.  My Christian name, in some circles.  I've long since started considering it to be the name of my meat.  Non-euphemistically speaking.  Torvaun is a name I chose years ago.  It's the name of my mind.  I've got other names in other places, but here only those two matter.

I'm a genius, technically speaking.  Mensa says so, and who am I to disagree with a bunch of smart guys like them?  I also suffer from depression, which is kinda being treated.  I live in the US, and am mostly unemployed, so things like doctors and prescriptions get skimped on.  This plus some other things combines to make me into something I don't know that they've got a word for.  I'm very smart, able to pick up concepts and ideas quickly, and work through their ramifications.  But I do very little.  This blog is an attempt to change that.  To make one part of my life where I'm being held accountable to someone else.  To you.  A place where it doesn't matter if I'm sick or tired or busy, there's someone else expecting their blog fix for the day.

Maybe this will help me.  Maybe I'll pick up some focus.  Or the act of creating something will help mitigate my depression.  Maybe it'll be nothing more than a little writing practice.  But it will be something, even if every reader I'm talking to right now consists entirely of me.

Honestly, I don't know what's going to show up on this blog.  I've skipped around a lot, academically speaking.  First was math.  I liked math, I was good at it.  It made sense.  But eventually I hit a wall, where I couldn't go any further without some serious work, work I wasn't willing to put in.  Programming!  It's kinda like math, right?  And there were all these visions of being a 'leet haxxor.'  Electronics then.  I've always enjoyed making stuff with my hands.  I played with Legos and K'nex when I was a kid.  I understood electricity.  Natural development!  I ended up getting an AS in computer electronics.  If you're not familiar with AS, it means Associate of Science.  It's a two year degree, as opposed to the four year Bachelor's programs.  I'm not sure how common it is in other parts of the world, for me, it basically meant I couldn't get shit as a job.  Electronics are disposable these days, no one fixes them, and no one needs to.  It might be useful for design work, but not only an AS.  It's been a while since I've done much with electronics.  I picked up chemistry as a hobby.  Incendiaries, explosives, acids, bases, solvents.  Hard to get a lot of stuff.  Apparently only terrorists and huge corporations are supposed to care about chemistry.

So, that's me.  A smattering of education across the hard sciences.  Unused to hard work, which I hate, and want to change.  Unemployed for two years and twenty-six days, other than some tech work I do sometimes for friends of the family.  And I'm starting a blog.

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